I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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