Quick, to the slutcave!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
