It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
