So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
