We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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