Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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