Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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