someone threw a dead crab at me
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
