can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
