A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
