I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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