wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
