I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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