The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize