I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
