so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
