everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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