just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
