She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize