Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
