Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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