he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
