Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
