The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
