So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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