So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
