haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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