3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
