First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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