Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You smell like stripper and shame
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
