i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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