Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
