If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
