I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
