you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
