I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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