she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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