i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize