had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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