I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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