I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dick very happy bro
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
