you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
