glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Ketchup is God's man juice
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
