dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
