Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
