Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
As shirtless as possible
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
