There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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