he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
