I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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