Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am one with the molecules
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize