Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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