She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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