rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
