We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
