OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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