Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
