is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
