How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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